inheritedpain | IC INBOX: PRISMATICA

I don't know. Maybe? It was only a little while ago. [ Is he supposed to keep track?? Is his dad disappointed about his height????

He looks off to the side, frustrated and flustered, though it's half with himself at this point. He doesn't meet his father's eyes. ]

You can just talk to me, you don't need to talk to anyone else. [ He's not very graceful at accepting apologies, apparently, and he crosses his arms in front of his chest. ]

You don't -- You don't need to try so hard.

I know that. Now.

[the last word heavier than the others, an anchor around his neck. he goes over and sits down, holding his hand out to fairy. he should probably pick up some of those...what are they called..."doggy treats."]

I thought...it should be me who knows how we move forward. [because he's the father, and asking his son about how to raise him had felt unfair when this relationship is unknown to him too. zixuan looks up after a moment.] I'll try to relax. But Jin Ling, this is more important to me than anything. You are more important to me than anything. And if my words aren't enough, then let my actions prove it.

[ Fairy obediently looks up at Jin Ling, as if waiting for permission, and Jin Ling gave a tiny nod before the dog happily waltzed forward, pushing her nose into Jin Zixuan's hand. Jin ling just shifts awkwardly, looking at the ground, his eyes getting a little hot.

He really doesn't know what to say to that, and he has to swallow around his discomfort. What is he supposed to say? ]

You're doing it again, you're trying too hard. [ He accused, but if his voice was a little thick, so sue him. ]

You're here. That's the important thing. Stop worrying so much about it.

[he draws in a breath. it hadn't felt like he was trying. it felt easy to say, to mean.

but when he thinks about it, he also see how the words were overwhelming in their own way. he exhales with a nod. it's also enough that jin ling is here. whatever expectations he might've had for his son, there are none now. it's enough that he's simply breathing, simply himself.]

Tell me something about yourself. There are many...unique things here. Have you explored any of them?

[ His hand flexes, grips into a fist, and flexes again, as he stands there awkwardly, frowning. After about ten seconds of this, he finally sits down next to his father, putting his hands on his knees to brace them there. ]

Some of them. There are - there are machines that can make you feel like you're somewhere else, for a little while. I've tried those. And there was a - another weird machine that made you look like someone else when you pressed a button. The juniors and I--

[ He faltered, frowning, looking down at his knees. ]

Most of what I do is just try to figure out what the hell is going on. [ Muttered quietly. ]

I know those machines!

[why is that so exciting, don't ask him. the first feeling of "common ground", maybe.

zixuan's eyebrows do a little jumping thing as he catches a few words.]

Your friends?

[he turns more towards him, he's very interested in this. and not for chroma reasons, he swears.]

[ Jin Ling's cheeks tinge a little pink despite himself. ]

Yeah, I guess. [ Still muttered. He's only getting used to the term, and he's already made it complicated since getting here. ]

The juniors are-- they're all cultivators from other clans. We just - we ended up going on this weird night hunt together in Yi City, once.

Not all of them are here, but - Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen - they live with - with the elder Hanguang-Jun.

[zixuan wisely, for a change, pretends not to notice.

but he notices.]

Many night hunts are weird in one way or another. How was this one so different?

It - it wasn’t just like a normal monster or a demon or something. There was—

[ A pause, a frown. ]

I can tell you the whole story if you want but it’s really sad. And you can’t- you can’t mention it to Daozhang Xiao if you meet him.

[zixuan blinks a few times. it's a strange combination, a sad story somehow connected to xiao xingchen, a man he's never met but knows of from reputation alone.]

I give you my word, I'll mention it to no one.

[ So he starts.

He's not the best story teller, by any means, and his view is somewhat limited. More than once he goes to say "Mo Xuanyu" then grimaces and corrects himself to "Wei Wuxian", but otherwise he tells his father exactly what happened. How they were all led to the city, how it was covered in fog and they couldn't get out. How many of them were poisoned, how Wei Wuxian made them congee ("I wasn't even allowed to have any but even I could see it was awful"). How Xiao Xingchen had appeared - how it had turned out not to be him at all. Lan Wangji fighting him, the fierce corpses fighting each other. He was careful not to mention Wen Ning by name, only by moniker - the Ghost General.

A-Qing, Wei Wuxian using empathy, Xue Yang - all of it.

He only ended when he told his father about the burial. By the end of it he was solemn, and he couldn't look directly at his father. ]

We went - we all went to an inn, afterward. I got into a fight with Sizhui, but it was stupid. Somehow he still-- we're still friends, I guess.

Though the Lan Sizhui here isn't... isn't the same as the one back home. He's one of the others. But he doesn't mind, so I won't mind either.

[ Jiang Cheng lets his nephew's rage wash over him, lets the boy vent his disbelief. Sometimes⁠, just sometimes—Jiang Cheng has already found this to be true in their brief acquaintance⁠—facing down Jin Ling is so much like looking into a mirror that it's painful. Anger and denial, derision and blame. What is a son but the father's shortcomings laid bare?

He waits for a lull, for a break in the tide of Jin Ling's fury. ]

...I was wrong. I didn't⁠— I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.

[ Swallowing against the tightness in his throat, he reaches out his hand in offering, knowing he'll be rebuffed but unable to stop from trying all the same. He draws in a breath, turning his mind away from thinking of all the hands held out to him in the past he was too proud to take. ]

It's still the war for us, A-Ling. People are dead, they're missing, we⁠— We've been through a great deal together. It's still fresh on our minds. And I just⁠— It just⁠—...

[ He wants to explain, but there really is no explanation for this. Not to Jin Ling. And Jiang Cheng can't spoil Jin Ling's relationship with a father he never got to know. He can't. He won't. He might be a coward, but he won't let himself take the coward's way out here.

Hands clenching into fists at his sides, he grits his teeth and hangs his head. ]

...It's my fault. He didn't know, but I did. I knew. About you, about... About A-Jie. About everything. I asked him home anyway. That's on me. Don't blame your father for that.

[whatever he expected this story to be, it's nothing like that. he would almost believe it to be exaggerated, the way jin zixun would stretch stories when he had a few drinks in him, making the danger more dangerous and himself more heroic. but jin ling is not jin zixun. he tells the story in an adorably earnest way, true to his memory of the events.

he catches himself wondering if jiang cheng knows this story. if his heart seized at the most dangerous parts the way that his own does. but it's amazing too. he scoots forward, gripping the fabric of his robes over his knees more than once.]

Boys fight sometimes, even friends. I can't tell you the number of times I fought with Wei Wuxian. Even your uncle and I were not always on good terms.

[better now - not that he wants to remind him.

but speaking of "others"...zixuan opens his mouth, hesitating before finally speaking.]

Have you met many of...those who aren't the same from home?

[he's thinking of the other him, of yanli, even the other jin ling.]

BABY JIN YOU'RE COMING WITH ME ON A MISSION

STOP CALLING ME A BABY, YOU'RE THE BABY

what mission?? what are you doing??

YOU'RE YOUNGER THAN ME SO YOU'RE A BABY

WE'RE PROTECTING LAN ZHAN

YOU'RE A BABY COMPARED TO HOW OLD YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

????????

WHAT HAPPENED TO HANGUANG-JUN
WHAT DID YOU DO??

HOW CAN WE PROTECT HIM, HE CAN FIGHT ANYTHING??????

HE CAN'T FIGHT SHAMELESSNESS, JIN LING, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND

WE'RE PROTECTING HIS VIRTUE

SHUT UP ABOUT BEING A BABY AND HELP ME

[ What in the -- ]

??????????????

WHAT

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

HIS VIRTUE IS FLAWLESS, HE CAN DO LITERALLY ANYTHING AND NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE THEY STILL CALL HIM AMAZING

YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE VIRTUE NEEDS PROTECTING?????

why do i need protection

LOOK

SOMEONE WANTS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF LAN ZHAN

WE CAN'T LET IT HAPPEN

Because you just go and get yourself in trouble and don't care what people think, that's why!!

OKAY JUST
SLOW DOWN??

who????

and why do you even think he would let that happen?????

if i cared about what people thought about me all the time, i'd get nothing done!

and this mo xuanyu character, so shameless! they'd take advantage of lan zhan without his permission, i can't stand it! we're not allowing it!!!

if lan zhan does it he'll not hold back and kill that person, i'm sure of it

we're saving two lives, jin ling!!!

[ ......................

.......................................... ]

yeah i know exactly how shameless he is

don't you worry about this one

i know him from my time

i'll take care of him.

hanguang-jun can handle him, too, trust me. he wouldn't let anyone near him without his permission. but he won't kill him.

Edited 2020-02-27 02:04 (UTC)

why wouldn't he kill this shameless stranger? he's taking liberties! indecent liberties!!!

this is not right, no one should smear lan zhan's reputation like this!

since when would hanguang-jun kill someone before just staring them down silently and letting them wither under their own power

or use a silence spell on him

but don't worry i'll avenge his honour or whatever

he and i have unfinished business anyway

IC INBOX: PRISMATICA

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject