[ It was as if all sound faded out around him. Like the entire world dimmed, a gentle buzz replacing it. Or the sound of his blood rushing through his ears.

He stepped backward, dropping the cup and feeling the remaining tea splash over the end of his robes. He didn't care. He was trying to stop the world from flipping under him but he couldn't--

Something snapped in him at the last comment, and abruptly he raised his gaze, the anger so sharp and peircing he swore he could feel fire licking at his throat. ]

I deserved my father! [ He snapped, his voice far too loud. ]

Like my cousin should have deserved his!

You-- A rumour-- jealousy--

[ Breathe. Fucking breathe, Jin Ling, or you are going to pass out. He sucked in harsh air between gritted teeth, his hand having somehow found the hilt of his sword, still buried in its sheath but clutched tight. ]

And what if he'd been fine, huh? What if your son had been perfect? Would you have just killed me, instead, to keep the position safe for him?

[ He was yelling. He wasn't trying to yell, but he couldn't contain the volume of his voice. Or the way his eyes were already brimming with tears.

This was too much. How was he supposed to react to it...? ]