IC INBOX: PRISMATICA

[inheritedpain]

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Jin Ling ⬤ The Untamed
residential district ⬤ couch surfing hobo
moonblessing ⬤ iris

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[inheritedpain]

[ Jin Ling looked away, glaring off at some undetermined point, his lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. It wasn't that the appeal didn't have an effect on him. Of course it did. But it hurt in ways he wasn't expecting.

Having to grieve an uncle - a father, in all senses of the word save the literal - all over again. Having to admit to himself that his Uncle wasn't actually here, that this wasn't him.

That this man didn't even understand him. ]

Who the hell would say you weren't enough.

[ Is what comes out in the end. ]

You really don't -- You just really don't get it, do you? I'm not a child. I'm not looking for you to- we've already done all that. Even if you wanted to, you wouldn't get to raise me again. [ And he's pretty sure Jiang Cheng doesn't actually want to. ]

All I want is a chance to be by your side. I don't care how you figure it out. And I don't care if I understand you or not. I mean sleeping with my father I feel like is a little much no matter how you parse it, but I--

If that's seriously what this is about - if this is seriously because you're -- you're lonely, or you're sad, or whatever -- I mean we all feel that way here, don't we?

We're all out of step with each other. You don't think I feel lonely as hell? You don't think I'm tired of being a disappointment or worse?

I just want you to talk to me. I don't want to have to find this- this shit out later. If you don't know how to handle your responsibilities, maybe you should talk to me about what those actually are.

[consignation]

...okay, what are they?

[ Jiang Cheng's voice is soft, a little uncertain and hesitant but earnest all the same. He lets the rest of his anxieties and apprehensions fall away, choosing instead to focus on how to fix this, to make it better, to do right by his nephew after all his struggling and floundering and actively making things worse. ]

What can I do, A-Ling?

[ Stepping closer, he reaches out, wanting to hold Jin Ling by the shoulders but not quite daring to touch. ]

[inheritedpain]

Maybe just tell me what’s going on, so I know what to expect and what I’m supposed to be doing.

[ he waits for the touch but it never comes, and he draws in, tenser ]

Tell me if you’re upset so that I can help, and listen when I’m upset. Help me figure out what I’m even- what I’m even supposed to be doing here and help me navigate this stupid planet and - and - I don’t know, just be here!

[consignation]

[ Jin Ling draws nearer, and Jiang Cheng does finally reach out, still afraid to be rebuffed but wanting to make peace with his nephew enough to chance it. ]

I'm listening now. I'm here.

[ Swallowing hard, he pulls Jin Ling in closer, pulls his nephew against him because it's what Jin Ling asked of him. To help him navigate this strange and inexplicable world. And in this place, all things seem to start right here, in closeness they would not partake in were they back home. ]

I don't know up from down lately myself, but we⁠— We'll figure it out. Please don't be angry with me. You're the last person I want to hurt, A-Ling.

[inheritedpain]

[ It was impossible to resist and he buried his face in Jiang Cheng’s chest before wrapping his arms tightly around him. Given an inch and taking a mile. ]

Then talk to me next time. [ mumbled into his uncle’s robes. ]

I don’t... I don’t understand what’s going on half the time but I — maybe it would be easier if you told me what you thought too.