IC INBOX: PRISMATICA

[inheritedpain]

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Jin Ling ⬤ The Untamed
residential district ⬤ couch surfing hobo
moonblessing ⬤ iris

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[lanofsizhui]

[… … …oh. He has hurt him. He doesn't meant to raise his false hopes up. He has tried to give him his rationale. Friends. Brother. So nothing is lost or gained.

But on deeper feelings, Sizhui isn't certain how he feels about him. Is there a difference between him and the version of himself? He's also a future sect leader, so he can't like him that way. This never happen before.

He has to get away from this mess he created. Maybe it is the moon messing with his mind. He doesn't know.]

It's the moon. [Hopefully, he'll accept that as an answer. Slowly he rose and makes an apologetic bow. It wasn't any of Jin Ling's fault. The fault is all on him. For not understanding where he stands with him.]

[This is a plea.] Jin Ling, please don't think too much about me or be hard on yourself. [Forcing a smile. This is all his fault. Better to walk away to lessen the burden and isolate himself in the Lan's household for comfort.]

I'll see you later and tomorrow, Jin Ling. And feel better.

[He'll stand by and lingers for a bit, before he quietly dismissed himself, and heading out the door. Meanwhile, the door inside of his heart gets shut.]

[inheritedpain]

[ He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have Sizhui’s kindness, he never has, and he doesn’t trust himself to keep from saying something even more stupid than he already did.

He regrets it, as soon as Sizhui is gone. Regrets not stopping him, not explaining, not just- not just grabbing him and kissing him so maybe he would get it—-

But he promised he wouldn’t. He promised Hanguang-jun he wouldn’t take something that wasn’t freely given, so he couldn’t force Sizhui to stay. He couldn’t even beg him to listen. He just sits and waits until he hears the outer door close, and then he rises, walks across the room -

And abruptly puts his fist through the wall, the outburst delayed but still deployed.

Fuck everything. ]