IC INBOX: PRISMATICA

[inheritedpain]

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Jin Ling ⬤ The Untamed
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[sizhui]

[ There is silence for long, long moments yet. Then Sizhui makes a small sound that's. Not quite a sob, but very odd anyway, sets his cup down, and shifts to throw his arms around Jin Ling. Loosely, in case the hug is not welcome, but ... yes, that is definitely a hug, awkward and a little shaky. ]

Yes. [ Barely more than a breath. ] I am Lan Sizhui. I choose to be Lan Sizhui. Not in the least because this way I can stand by your side. Thank you for seeing that I am that, too.

[ ... Yeah, Sizhui doesn't get embarrassed easily. And, for once, he does need the physical contact. To reassure him that Jin Ling's choice is not just his dream, but, in fact, reality. ]

[inheritedpain]

[ He wasn't expecting it, and he froze up, accidentally spilling a little of the hot chocolate onto his lap, but at least it wasn't scalding anymore. His face was warm again - maybe it was just perpetually warm in this forsaken place - and he carefully put his mug down before raising his hands to rest on Sizhui's arms, letting the boy hold him and... sort of returning it. He didn't really know how to do more than that. Not without embarrassing them both. ]

Don't be stupid. [ A little shaky, trying and failing to pretend he wasn't effected by the display of emotion. ]

Of course I see that. I've known you this long, haven't I? We've been through everything together. If I couldn't see that I would have to be blind!

Who other than a Lan would look at Hanguang-jun the way you and Jingyi do?

[ He faltered, swallowing, unable to quite ignore the stand by your side part, despite how it made his insides twist in a way he couldn't tell if it felt good or terrible. ]

... Who do we have if we haven't got each other? [ The question came out a little rougher, a little more honest, than he meant it to. ] Of course I'm standing with you, Sizhui, don't be stupid. If anyone gives you grief about where you come from, you just come to me and we'll make sure they remember their manners.

[sizhui]

I'm sorry. [ Whispered, for the spilled drink, but he doesn't move away, not quite yet. He'll bring him down for something clean to wear until a cycle of laundry runs in a bit. He's just.

For once where Jin Ling can see it, it's Sizhui who is overwhelmed by emotions.

After a moment, he makes a sound that's halfway between a laugh and a sob, and nods, still against Jin Ling. ]

I'll remember. And you know - you know I'm here, too, right? It's... it's how I want it to be. [ He takes a few breaths to try to calm himself, but they are shaking. ]

The branch of the family that I came from. They were healers. They - didn't attack anyone. Well, it got complicated because of, of Mr. Wen, but...

I don't want to hurt anyone. I won't.

[inheritedpain]

You're not going to hurt anyone. [ Automatic, almost defensive - as if someone else had claimed Sizhui could possibly be a danger to anyone, and not Sizhui himself.

He raised his hand to roughly put it over Sizhui's as it was wrapped around him, threading his fingers between the other boy's. ]

You are here. This is you.

You're not going to hurt anyone! And even if something happened, I'll be right here to pull you back, okay? I'm not going to let you be someone you never wanted to be.

[sizhui]

This is me.

[ He breathes out, and melts a little into the arm holding him. ]

It's good to be me with you, Jin Ling. It's good to be me with people I care about.

[inheritedpain]

[ He felt his face get even hotter, the arm around Sizhui tensing a little tighter, protectively.

He's never going to quite get used to Sizhui just bare-face saying he cares about him. How can he just say things like that??

But on the other hand... He kind of wishes he'd say it more. So he's not going to complain.

Also the fact that Sizhui thought that being around Jin Ling was good for him - when he'd spent so much of his life convinced he was a bother at best and an active detriment at worst - it makes his chest twist in unpredictable ways.

So, suddenly, and stubbornly: ]

Well I do. Care about you.