IC INBOX: PRISMATICA

[inheritedpain]

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Jin Ling ⬤ The Untamed
residential district ⬤ couch surfing hobo
moonblessing ⬤ iris

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Comments

[inheritedpain]

yeah, I know

Hanguang-Jun refused to test me himself.

It’s fine, I’ll prove that he doesn’t need to treat me differently.

[sizhui]

Well, it wouldn't be a fair test if all you're meant to do is fail. Someone whose abilities are close to yours is a much better choice, anyway.

Is that why this is, then? You thought he'd not treat you fairly?

[inheritedpain]

He doesn’t think I could keep up with you guys!!

He said that he could change the training for me! I don’t care if our abilities are the same or not, I can learn! I can keep up!

I’m just as good as any of you are!

[sizhui]

Jin Ling, his training for *everyone* is based on 'do what you can.' It's not that he assigns us too much. It's that we go over what's assigned to make him proud, or at least I do, so he increases the load to fit what will be a challenge.

But I do agree that you are as good as any of us.

[inheritedpain]

Then I can handle whatever he assigns and whatever you guys do extra, too!

How am I supposed to get better if I only do what I can do already??

[sizhui]

He will assign you something according to the evaluation.

Then when that becomes easier, he'll assign you something harder. He doesn't *like* it when people are idle. With one exception, I guess, but that's separate. And because that exception often looks idle but isn't.

[inheritedpain]

[ There’s a pause. This is so different from his own training that he’s not sure what to make of it. ]

I just don’t want him looking down on me.

[sizhui]

You know how our Sect is. And Hanguang-jun is particular. Do you really think he would offer at all if he were looking down on you?

[inheritedpain]

[ There’s a pause, because he’s just so used to all of the peers in his sect looking down on him that the thought hadn’t occurred to him that it wasn’t standard. Even the Lans teased him sometimes, Jingyi in particular. ]

I don’t know. Why else would he, if he didn’t think I was lacking?

[sizhui]

It's called studying, Jin Ling. I think it's kind of required.

[inheritedpain]

i don't mind studying! or training!!


sorry i guess i just

i'm just not used to it, it's fine

i'll do my best

[sizhui]

I'm sorry, I think that came off wrong. I think I just

I'm too used to being taught by and learning from Hanguang-jun. I never even considered it as looking down, nor as me having to prove myself to him, not as his equal.

Well, not yet.

It's always been a case of learning. And, yes, doing one's best.

[inheritedpain]

well of course he doesn’t look down on you

why would he you’re basically perfect

[sizhui]

I am not perfect! I try really hard to never disappoint him, because he was so sad for a very, very long time and I thought if I didn't make him sadder, that would be a good thing, right?

But I'm not perfect. I promise.

[inheritedpain]

i said basically!!

what’s wrong with me thinking that anyway

[sizhui]

[ What's wrong with-- ]

I don't want to lie to you! Even if it's my failing to correct a misconception. I make mistakes and lose my way, too.

[inheritedpain]

sizhui

you’re even trying to make me feel better for thinking too highly of you

this is ridiculous

i dare you to make a mistake right now

[sizhui]

....

...I may have just cut my finger as I was peeling an apple while reading your text

It's only a little though! Don't worry!!

[inheritedpain]

...

please do not cause yourself bodily harm in response to a dare to mess up

[sizhui]

I didn't do it on purpose! I was surprised!!

[inheritedpain]

and you somehow manage to find the cutest way to not be perfect???

no way

you are definitely making fun of me now

[sizhui]

Do you really think I would do that?

I'm not perfect, I'm not. I'm unsure and hesitate, and I can't make things right for people who are hurting, and I get seasick, and I lose my temper sometimes, and I feel like I feel too much but don't do enough, and there are many, many ways in which I'm not

But mocking people who are being nice

I won't do that.

[inheritedpain]

stop i can’t take this

i know you wouldn’t i shouldn’t have implied that you would

but it’s really annoying how you can list off faults and i can link every one of them to things i like about you

so this game is over!!

[sizhui]

So long as you know, and you're not upset, it's all right.

I

I think I much prefer you liking my faults than being perfect.

[inheritedpain]

yeah well



look this is not the point i was trying to make

my point was you better not hold back, tomorrow!!!