Jin “I’m not tsundere, you're tsundere!!” Ling (
inheritedpain) wrote2020-01-18 01:48 am
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IC INBOX: PRISMATICA
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Jin Ling ⬤ The Untamed
residential district ⬤ couch surfing hobo
moonblessing ⬤ iris
residential district ⬤ couch surfing hobo
moonblessing ⬤ iris
no subject
but he's very drunk.
so all he says is: ]
uyor a good boy alhng
you do good
yor good
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He’s a good boy????
He doesn’t text back just heads straight for Jiang Cheng’s place and let’s himself in, slamming the door open. ]
Uncle! Where are you!
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he's not sure.
it doesn't matter anyway.
his whole life is a bad joke. ]
A-Ling...? That was... fast. Good. Good.
[ he takes another swig of something he doesn't taste, patting the space next to him on the floor invitingly. ]
Come drink. Then— Then you can help me pack.
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He doesn’t understand it, and it scares him, even as Fairy bounds up behind him to join the party.
He steps forward and quickly grabs the bottle from his uncle’s hands. He’s never seen him like this— ]
No! No drinking, you’ve had enough! Uncle, what are you doing? Why are you moving? Did you run out of chroma?? Why didn’t you say something, I could help—
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[ jiang cheng stares at his empty hands as though trying to parse where the bottle went, gaze slowly tracking from his hands to jin ling's own, then up to his nephew's face. he picks up another half-empty bottle instead, but doesn't drink from it yet. ]
Wei Wuxian left, so I— Who needs... this, right? You should have a room. And other people... should have rooms. I'll... I'll get a new place, where people can come and go, and if there's enough... people, maybe I won't... Maybe they won't all—
[ choking on his breath, jiang cheng hunches over himself with another hoarse sob, unable to quite form the words. —maybe they won't all leave me alone. An empty apartment is no different from the blood-soaked walkways of Lotus Pier.
jiang cheng always, always ends back up here again.
maybe he should make jin ling leave too.
the people around him are always in danger. they leave him one way or the other.
one way or the other. ]
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Fuck Wei Wuxian!
[ He says it emphatically, sharply, letting grief and longing make it all that much more pointed. He kneeled down, grabbing his uncle’s hands and gripping them in his own, staring fiercely up into his Uncle’s face. ]
Is he what this is all about?? He doesn’t deserve it! You don’t need him! We did just fine before, when it was just the two of us!!
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Not him. Not... just him. I'm just— I'm not enough, A-Ling. I'm not... for anyone. Not my mom, not my dad. A-Jie gets married, goes away. [ His gaze jerks up at that, briefly, remembering that she dies. He swallows against the lump in his throat, yanks hard on Jin Ling's hands so his nephew comes tumbling into his arms. ] Wei Wuxian's just... next down the list.
[ He tucks his cheek against the top of Jin Ling's head, shuts his eyes. ]
You'll probably find someone soon, too. I've barely gotten started with you and... Everyone leaves me in the end.
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Don't be stupid! [ He grumbled lowly. ] You rebuilt Lotus Pier, you reformed an entire sect! You're stronger than anyone, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!!
[ He presses his face harder into Jiang Cheng's shoulder, the sound muffled but his voice too loud to really block out. ]
You're so stupid, I'm not going to leave you! You're the-- [ He choked a little. ] You're the closest thing I ever had to a father, why would I ever leave you?
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But this time, it follows Jin Ling telling Jiang Cheng he's not leaving, and that fact seizes him by the throat.
Letting out a sharp, pained breath, he holds Jin Ling tighter. He shouldn't commit Jin Ling to this. His nephew isn't much younger than him, but young enough to be at the height of his teenage recklessness, barreling into things headfirst with no grasp, no consideration for how much it will hurt.
But he wants it too badly. Like with Jin Zixuan, he knows better and still cannot help himself at all, his worst weaknesses all lying in the gaps of love that life tears from his hands again and again, offering him but a single maddening taste before leaving him behind. ]
...don't say you'll stay if you don't mean it. [ Jiang Cheng's voice is tight, strained, on the verge of cracking. ] It will be the end of me, A-Ling. Children grow up, they— They make their own lives. If you tell me you stay and leave me all the same—
...you're all I have. You're all the family I have.
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I can't - I can't promise that I'll be here forever, because I could disappear just like - just like others have, against my will. But I'm never going to leave you willingly. Even if I - Even if you marry me off, if you don't want me to leave, then that's fine. She can come and live with us!
People leaving isn't the same thing as being gone. I'll drag Wei Wuxian back here for you, if I have to. But why would I want to go anywhere?
[ He slumped a little, some of the fire draining from him and leaving him tired. ]
Do you think I have zero filial piety, or something? I swear...
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[ There was a time Jiang Cheng believed every word Wei Wuxian said to him. What reason did he have to doubt? They'd been together for everything, since Wei Wuxian came to Lotus Pier. ]
...I thought a lot of things.
[ That his parents would live to old age. That they had so much time together still, to sort out their differences, to love each other, to overcome all the world had to throw at them together.
That they three siblings would be there for each other forever.
Now he's here, with his sister's child, with nothing on his mind but loss and uncertainty. He lets out his breath, tight and pained, and holds Jin Ling that much closer. ]
...you're a good boy, A-Ling. And it wouldn't... be wrong of you, to leave. I just—
[ Jiang Cheng sucks in a breath, squeezing his eyes shut. ]
I'm just tired of always being the one left behind.
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[ He muttered, tired and frustrated and... well, worried. He’d never really seen his uncle like this before. He’d always seemed so hard and stoic...
He swallowed thickly. Had this all changed him that much? ]
I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be your nephew.